My marriage, my way: Laws make marriage complicated.
Divorce can be the true test of marriage. This was one takeaway from a case SC judged this week. It was hearing a couple that on its path towards divorce, took a singular leap, and asked for its marriage to be declared invalid instead. On the grounds that no “ customs, rites and rituals ” had been performed. Justices BV Nagarathna and Augustine George Masih granted the required “relief” and also an illuminating tutorial on the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955. In a nutshell, per law, a marriage performed without “appropriate ceremonies” cannot be said to be “ solemnised ”.
Why is this jaw-dropping? Because up and down the country Indians get married in a glorious diversity of ways. And all of these should have equal standing in the eyes of modern law. But between the different laws that pronounce rigidities on the matter, they don’t. The judges in this instance declared, “marriage is not an event for ‘song and dance’ and ‘ wining and dining’.” But why can’t it be? Or rather, in the countless cases where it already is, surely law shouldn’t ruin the party.
HMA itself has been criticised for flattening wedding practices over time. As examples, scholars point to the fading of matrilineal practices like Aliyasantana in Karnataka and Marumakkathayam in Kerala. Besides, it only refers to Sagai, Kanyadan and Saptapadi. That’s very despiriting for, say, Shubho Drishti and Arundhati Nakshatra. Not to mention all the marriages that completely sidestep the named trinity.
Is there any elegant solution to all this confusion and exclusion? Yes! The state should remain the registry for all marriages, but no longer have anything to do with sacraments and ceremonies.
The Special Marriage Act, 1954 does wear the dress of such a solution. But, from its 30-day notice to how it’s being undermined by anti-conversion laws, its embodied reality is citizen-unfriendly. Moreover, the vast majority of marriages take place under other, religion-based laws, which, like HMA, have very specific requirements for a “solemnised” marriage. What we need is a dramatically reformed version of SMA, where it becomes the sole interface between the state, law and citizens. Why should the state only recognise marriages that limit themselves to a rigid menu of options? Real India certainly doesn’t. Quite happily so. But SC reminded us how vulnerable this happiness is. Better check if your wedding meets the “appropriate ceremonies” criteria.