When you complain.
'Didn't think you would be the whining kind,' remarked a surprised colleague during my first month of employment. I was complaining about a client who was pretty annoying. That frank observation embarrassed me so much that I promised myself I would never complain again. It was such a minor incident but it left a lasting impression on me, and I am grateful that my colleague said that. Who likes to be thought of as a whiner? Every day, the problems we face are so many, from minor to major, and one cannot avoid them. But one can see them not as problems but as opportunities to improve one's perception and behaviour, to test one's patience and fortitude, to become more pleasant, and more compassionate.
'If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you've got a problem. Everything else is an inconvenience. Life is inconvenient. Life is lumpy. A lump in the oatmeal, a lump in the throat, and a lump in the breast are not the same kind of lump. One needs to learn the difference,' said author Robert Fulghum. We do tend to confuse inconveniences for problems. Complaining, say sages, is a sign of weakness and ignorance. Just as happiness can become a habit, so, too, complaining, whining and griping can become negative habits that make you and others around you miserable. As Anthony D'Angelo put it, 'If you have time to whine and complain about something, then you have the time to do something about it.'